A Humorous Perspective On Any Profession

The following three jokes help me as I listen to the "promises" being made by a professional who I don't think can keep them:

How do you know when a ________ is lying? When his lips move :-)

What's the difference between a ________ and a catfish? One is a muck raking, scum sucking, bottom feeder and the other is a fish :-)

The problem that 99% of _________ give the other 1% a bad name :-)

Put the targeted profession in the blank space and the joke is complete.

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This is not financial or humor advice. Please consult a professional advisor.