Child Independence

TLDR:  Times have changed and parents are generally more cautious with child independence now than when I was a kid.

Recently, I read an article about a mom found guilty of abuse for letting 5-year-old walk outside alone,

The article made me think about myself when I was 5 to 16 years old and how I've handled my own kids during that age.

When I was 5, I used to go out on my own in the neighborhood.   We would play after school or all day on weekends with other kids in the neighborhood.  All the kids played together up to young teenagers.   Never any concern about safety.

When I was 8 years old, I used to ride my bike by myself to football/baseball practice or the local stores.   By 12, I was riding about 10 miles on local roads.  

However, the world has changed and is perceived as less safe, but it still varies by parent.

With our kids, we didn't let them play on their own at 5.   We always accompanied them to visit other kids yards and chatted with the other parents.  We mainly did play in friends yards and used the opportunity to catch up.  In addition, we usually accompanied them to the bus stop until they were out of elementary school after 4th grade.  Now while this approach isn't all parents, it is most.  We have one family with 4 children and the parents let their children out on their own at 5 or even younger, but do accompany them to the bus stop.

For both our kids, I used to ride my bike with them to the local grocery store about 2 miles away on the sidewalk.  At 13 years old, they started to ride on their own, usually on the sidewalk, but crossing 4 lane roads on the crosswalk.   By 16, my daughter would ride to a park about 5 miles away and one the road.

Here's one occasion, we almost messed up but it turned out OK:

When we are out, we always stayed close to the kids, in stores, in parks and at festivals.  We only had a couple of misses.  Once, we were on vacation and street performer gave out a small token and our 5 year old daughter went into the crowd to get one.  For 10 long seconds, we didn't see her and thought someone had taken her, and then she became visible when the crowd dissipated.  Another time with were at a 4th of July festival.   We were holding her hands, but my spouse became separated in the dense crowd, while I continued to hold our daughter's hand.  I was always with my daughter, but my spouse was separated for 30 minutes and didn't know where our daughter was and was worried.  I thought she had voluntarily separated and knew I was with our daughter. This was before both of us carried cell phones.  Finally, we reconnected and my spouse was relieved.

As usual, YMMV for parents and children.

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This is not financial nor parenting advice. Please consult a professional advisor.

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